Welcome, ladies, to the 2014 NOW Showdown! It’s going to be a tough rumble between two very influential fighters, and the crowd is loving it. In one corner of the arena we have the Dirty 100, led by their head coach, Hobby Lobby. (Boooooo!) Next, other the other side, comes The Women waving their reproductive freedom flags! The crowd goes wild!
SCOTUS walks out onto the mat. The crowd falls silent.
“Alright,” Ginsburg begins, “Let’s have a fair fight. No unconstitutionality allowed. And, please, let’s keep it reasonable.”
She gives an approving wink to The Women’s side and walks to her seat in the front row with the other eight justices. Chief Justice Roberts does not look amused.
Both The Dirty 100 and The Women move out into center arena. There’s a brief pause, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Sotomayor rings the bell and immediately the fight begins! The crowd is roaring!
Oof. That’s a serious burn for The Dirty 100. Will they be able to recover?
“All women are sinners!” says The Dirty 100. Ginsburg and Sotomayor look furious. “Besides, we still have our right to religious liberty under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act! It says that the government can’t substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion.”
This match is seriously heating up.
“Since when did corporations become people? And where in RFRA do corporate CEOs gain the right to impose their religious beliefs on their employees? We’re protected by the First Amendment Establishment Clause,” The Women snap back, without hesitation.
“Keep the boardroom out of our bedroom!” the audience chants. “We are the only CEOs of our bodies!”
The Dirty 100 falls back. It seems they don’t have a comeback for such a valid argument. Is the fight over? No, but it’s about to get ugly.
Without announcement, Roberts runs into the arena.
“Enough,” he raises his hand to both sides of the stage, “This is my court, and I’ll take it from here. The Women put up a good fight, but I’m going to have to side with The Dirty 100. Sorry, ladies.”
Roberts takes Hobby Lobby’s hand and shakes it. Everyone’s eyes widen, mouths drop. No one understands how Roberts could possibly rule in favor of Hobby Lobby when The Women clearly had the better argument. Even The Dirty 100 is in awe.
In all seriousness, there is a chance that could be the outcome of Sebelius v. Hobby Lobby, a decision we are likely to get next week. If SCOTUS finds in Hobby Lobby’s favor, a boss could deny insurance coverage of contraception to female employees if said boss believes contraception goes against their religion.
But the battle will not end with this decision. Win or lose, the Radical Right will continue their battle against the most basic of women’s reproductive healthcare – birth control.
There’s still time to do something about this. Sign our petition and tell the Dirty 100 that it is not acceptable for employers to impose their personal beliefs on their employees. We will not stop fighting for our right to reproductive health care.
What else can you do? Become educated on the topic and share that information with friends and family. Don’t know where to start? Check out the NOW Foundation’s issue advisory “The Dirty 100 – The Story Behind the Litigation”.